The Painted Lion

"You're too pretty to be single" Why is one person's idea of ideal aestheticism A basis for a relationship status And furthermore What is so goddamn shameful or pathetic about being single anyway Is confidence and comfort in being by one's self intimidating to you "Swearing is unladylike" Bullshit Swears are only words And these words do not negate my intelligence, or passion, or define anything about me as a person or my character Men are never told not to swear Swear as much as you fucking want "Your standards are too high! Just give him a chance" No You are invalidating a woman's right to say no She doesn't need to explain herself to anyone She doesn't owe anyone anything Ever Everyone should have standards for themselves, and not feel like they need to lower them to please anyone Or be shamed for leading someone on when they know it would never work Because that happens too "I

The story, for those of you who haven't seen it (if you haven't, well then this review will be chock full of spoilers for you, won't it,) follows Giselle, a sweet and naive princess who falls through a wishing well and ends up in New York City. I remember loving this movie as a young teen - catchy songs, fun costumes, and don't even lie, everyone was a little bit in love with Patrick Dempsey. But re-watching this movie many years later has exposed a truck load of issues that we're here today to discuss, so let's get to it, children. Representation Now, being Disney in the early 2000s,  Enchanted was unlikely to actually include any canonically queer major characters, but seriously, did every single couple in the wedding dancer lineup during the "How Do You Know" number need to be a heterosexual one? I mean, we're in New York City, for crying out loud - statistically speaking, at least one of you is gay. And as if that weren